


Fernweh

by fenHarel



Series: HSWC 2014 Bonus Round 2 [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dave rambles a lot, Gen, and Striders are awkward as hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 12:37:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1858350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fenHarel/pseuds/fenHarel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fernweh - German - To feel homesick for a place you have never been.</p><p>Or: Dave and Dirk are awkward little shits who have trouble getting it together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fernweh

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first of my many fills from bonus round one of the HSWC 2014. Which could also be known as one queer's campaign to write everything for every bonus round in the Cup in 2nd person POV.

When everything dies down, you both are avoiding each other. It's not that you don't want to see Dirk, it's just that it feels off. It's not the same as having your bro, and you can tell that he feels the same. Even though you're certain that even if the Alpha 'verse version of yourself presented himself to Dirk, it wouldn't feel right to him either.

Sometimes you'll spar with each other, but that tends to be in silence. Nothing but the clashing of swords and occasional fist fights can be heard unless someone wandered in. If that was the case, then it was almost guaranteed that a running commentary on the fight would be started. You largely suspect that it's Rose and Kanaya's way of trying to meddle and get you and Dirk to just sit down and talk about what's goin’ on. 

You're not the Crocker-Egberts or the English-Harleys, you and Dirk didn't settle into familial love and dynamics with a decent amount of ease. Nor are you two like the Lalondes, with their awkward and unadmitted sexual tension. And you're totally not thinking about saving everyone the time and effort by just shoving Roxy and Rose into a closet together until they work out their own set of issues. Totally. It's not like you want to think about your ecto-sister and ecto-mom mackin' on each other, but for the love of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, a man can only take so much of their unironic and unfortunate bullshit before he loses his mind. The others are starting to feel the same, too, so you shuffle that idea off until you could make it happen.

What it boils down to is that, for the most part, the others are different. Even though you and Dirk are both the outliers of your own groups, you can't even click with each other. Though, admittedly, that's more to do with your mutual refusal to let your guards down around each other. On your end, it has nothing to do with how you look at him and get pangs of guilt and worthlessness. 

He's growing into the same appearance that your Bro had, except he's like a foot taller. Sometimes it hurts to look at him, because when he pops up out of some corner or another it takes a double take to make you remember that he's not Bro. You can't reference things that happened while you were in Texas while talking about something that's going on. He just hangs around the edges of the room whenever you start talking at length or rap for a while. You've heard him mention what your Alpha 'verse self sounded like once to Roxy and Jane while him and Jane were havin' a feelings jam, and he sounded almost hollow when he compared it to your voice.

You wouldn't admit it out loud, but a part of you wants to spend time with him. To trade fist bumps and rap offs and even drink his shitty orange soda while creating SBaHJ comics with him. He makes you miss something, but lately it's less to do with your Bro and more something that you can't name. As far as you can tell, you just want him as a brother, versus him being "Bro". The dance of avoidance that the two of you dance goes on for months, until you're all together for the holiday. The festivities had started to become too much for you, and you slipped off to the roof to watch the sun set. There's a decent spot that you set up for this purpose alone, and you settle in for what will probably be a few hours.

There's a medium-ish tread behind you, and you stare forward at the sun in a refusal to look. You've been trying to teach Dirk how to flashstep, but it still hasn't really sunk in to him yet. He's all power and tank-like glory compared to how Bro was a balance of power and speed. He doesn't have that heavy thud anymore, so it's an improvement. 

Trying and managing to teach him the basics of how to flashstep with actual style while ignoring the giant orange spotted elephant in the room was clearly one of your biggest achievements.

He sits down next to you, and for a moment you want to kick yourself for leaving multiple cinder blocks and blankets stashed up here. For hours, you both just sit in silence, but for the first time...it was comfortable. You don't check to see if he's actually watching the sky, or if he's just trying to reconcile the differences between you and his Bro again. As much as you're twitching to find out, he approached you and you're not going to question him.

When the sun is down and the sky is dark, you both stare at the stars, too. After a certain point, you hear him get up and walk back inside. Throughout the holiday, the same thing happens every night. During the day, it's like you're both gradually easing into an actual friendship. Not once do either of you mention the hours on the rooftop, but you both start talking more often. Little things throughout the three weeks you all stay together, until the second to last night when you both have a rap off. When that happens, it feels like something in your chest clicks.

You both don't have a problem spending time together after that.

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing Striders, so I hope that I didn't mangle it even worse than I think that I did.


End file.
